On top of that, seniors visitors perform arrange for the 2 so you’re able to sleep in you to domestic to have every night. After they see that nothing happened on account of fear by the boy, brand new earlier guys, as a consequence of his uncle, create organize briefing training to inform this new boy whom the newest lady can be so he is always to no further be afraid out-of girls and you may women. There’s a common belief that ladies “bite” among youth, with no that dares to express contrary opinions. As a result of this faith, boys and you can girls do not rush for the wedding and you can, this is why, they often wed during the age 31 or 35.
The new boy narrates so you’re able to his brother all of the characters of one’s girl they have adored and wish to of believe it or not than just three, comprising the students people, his buddy, and something relative yet not his mothers, check outs the girl’s house to ensure both of these corners understand each almost every other better
Subsequent, mothers and you can uncles ( eni mbumba ) (the master of the children) will always be desperate to features their boy or girl get a hold of good appropriate matrimony lover. Though some of those strategies are diminishing, it nonetheless setting area of the youth’s path to delivering ong the new Chewa.
Among Chewa , when one recommends wedding so you can good girl, this is simply not noticeable that they can wed instantly. There clearly was a process that involves uncles, aunties, parents, chiefs, or other influential members of town. ” Despite becoming seeking the person, your lover doesn’t say “yes” during the earliest proposition throughout the people. The person must justify their condition a few times through to the girl nods with the proposal. At this point, some men surrender thinking the fresh new girl is not looking all of them.
With regards to the Chewa community, it’s wrong towards girl to simply accept a married relationship offer initially connection with a man. The girl needs to impede invited in order for she is seen as “good,” not eager, maybe not effortless, and you may individuals men is fight to possess.
Acknowledging the latest proposal within 1st exposure to the person try a good manifestation of exhaustion on the girl. It indicators she is “low priced.” Simultaneously, if your man fights back to profit the new girl shortly after a delay into the acknowledging a suggestion, they signals a strong wedding. it implies that the person was strong and durable adequate. Subsequent, it assures one to even if they face demands in marriage, both could well be sufficiently strong to manage issues.
At first, in the event the guy suits the newest girl, the person states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Woman, I favor you, and you may waiting to get married you
This step is known as “kufunsira mbeta,” definition relationship suggestion . If girl fundamentally allows, the person provides the girl chikole ( anything physical that the lady or one can show anybody else you to she’s involved). Prominent things made use of once the chikole tend to be mikanda (jewelry) , material female usually use to link more their thoughts, or any other question anything. Giving the lady chikole demonstrates the man was dedicated to marrying the fresh new girl and you may inhibits brand new girl of are approached of the almost every other guys for wedding proposals. Whenever another type of guy approache your lover, she shows new chikole so you’re able to cut-off him off continuous their advances.
Because the girl welcomes the new suggestion, she advises the guy to tell her bro regarding it. As previously mentioned prior to, among the Chewa, the fresh new buddy is known as mwini mbumba (proprietor of the children from the clan). In the event that people organizes to go to brand new sibling of your own girl, he cannot go by yourself. In the beginning, he’s got to share with his bro about the girl he’s got suggested https://kissbrides.com/serbian-women/varna/ matrimony so you can. When they visited the girl’s cousin, their buddy will even not alone – he or she is always entered because of the most other loved ones of girl but perhaps not their particular parents. Once new boy’s group happens, it participate in discussions titled malonje (introductions and you will inviting statements).